Study finds Caregiving often sours relationship between parents and adult children.
Thanks AARP for this great support article for caregivers.
It’s often the little things that can make a person’s blood boil.
Case in point: Ann Allnutt gave her 85-year-old mother a basket for her mail. Read your mail, she said, and when you’re done, put it in the basket where I can easily check it.
“I find everything in that basket but the mail,” Allnutt, 68, says. “So, because of that, we missed paying insurance premiums, or we missed something that we need to take care of. I have changed the addresses on bank statements and she’ll call and change them back.”
Then there are the doctors’ appointments her mother reschedules without telling her. Allnutt knows the dementia is likely to blame, but there’s a part of her that thinks there might be more to it — that her mother is being difficult in order to hold on to her independence.
And then there’s her father, 90, a survivor of two strokes, who says he doesn’t need anyone to help him, yet in fact needs everything done for him. Both refuse to hire a home health aide, and both insist on staying in their own home.
“Up to a point, they think they can still do for themselves, and then they expect me to come in and pick up the pieces when things don’t go well,” says Allnutt, who moved back to Archdale, N.C., 13 years ago to help care for her parents. Too Read More…